It’s been over a month since my last post. I still had the Christmas theme template activated. It’s nice to finally change that.
The last month has been pretty much a blur. Christmas has come and gone. We survived 2 weeks of the kids being out of school. But just barely. Just because Christmas break is over and school is back in session, doesn’t mean that Matthew is ready to immediately fall back into the original routine. His volatile behavior has hit a new peak. Over the past few weeks, it has become crystal clear to me that Matt’s first priority over everything else is to seek control. Not necessarily in a dogmatic sort of way. It’s more like he realises our world makes no sense to him so he wants to create his own world and we all better adapt to it….or esle! Ok, I guess that’s a little dogmatic. The screaming, throwing, hitting, kicking, and breaking was becoming a daily event. Some days, it was an hourly event. Anything and everything would trigger an outburst. In these past few weeks I have felt anger, fear, desperation, and despair. “What is going on with him?” “Why can’t we help him?” “What are we doing wrong?”
John and I have learned very quickly that most of our problem solving with Matthew is aquired through trial and error. If one thing doesn’t work, try another. If what worked before isn’t working now, try something new. Seek the advice on what is working for other parents of autistic children. But lately, things had become so intense and difficult with Matt over the past month that we ran out of ideas of what to try. Keep in mind, we were mentally and emotionally drained. So I finally called his doctor. “How is Matt’s sleeping?”, she asked. “Poor as usual”, I answered. “He still wakes up in the middle of the night and he still can’t sleep past 4am.”
So, she agreed that the current medicine he has been taking for the past 3 years has lost its effectiveness. As of 10 days ago, Matt began a new medicine that is an antidepressant. The primary reason for Matt taking it is so that he can sleep better. It works, Praise God! Sleeping in untill 6am is just blissful! He has been less volatile as well. Could this be the answer? Maybe for now. But as we all know, life is a rollercoaster. To me it’s like being on a sailboat in the middle of an ocean. The waters are calm and it’s peaceful. But I know there will be a storm coming eventually. I don’t fret about the storm. It’s going to come whether I freak out or not. I use that peaceful time to rest up, enjoy my family, and enjoy my life. I thank God for giving me the calm days and I pray for more of them. But when the storm hits, I brace myself and know that we are not going to go through it alone. Praise God for that!
It Takes a Village 